Interview with Dorthy Sun Kwen
2/21/03
1:10 PM
At Lu Valle Café on UCLA campus

Kiriko Takahashi: When did you come to the U.S.
Dorthy Sun Kwen: I was born in here.
T: Where were you born?
K: I was born here in Los Angeles. I was born and raised in LA.
T: How many... Do you speak Korean at home?
K: Yeah, I speak Korean at home.
T: With your parents?
K: Yes.
T: Have you ever visited Korea?
K: I went there four times, but it was only for a couple of weeks, 3 weeks.
T: Do you think you keep Korean heritage or do you think you were Americanized?
K: I combine both. Uh, certain thing, I have Korean mentality of things, I definitely meet the culture, like I wouldn't think of marrying anybody else but Korean man, and that way I can keep the culture straight, you know? Even the future, I want to make sure that, you know, the Korean population builds right, you know, I just want to make sure that, I think all Korean should be Korean, and know how to read and stuff. A lot of people are not, and really don't know how to do that.
T: Who do you think influence you?
K: My dad. My dad is really strict and he always sent me to Korean school, and that's why..
T: Like weekend school?
K: Yeah, like on Saturdays and Sundays. Usually Saturdays, I was like read textbooks in Korean and tried to lean poem and everything what Koreans do in Korea, but it's just once a week.
T: OK.
K: I definitely have American mentality as well, just certain thing I don't understand why Koreans do certain things, you know. Even like eating manners, I just come straight to say, a lot of Koreans pick teeth while they eating at the restraint and stuff, and I think it's really disgusting. I was like "go to the restroom or go to outside, not in the public area." Right after they eat, they just get a tooth pick and start picking their teeth, and that's very disgusting to me. And I know in the American side, you were looked down upon if you do that so.
T: In my country it's OK if people do that.
K: Where are you from?
T: I am from Japan.
K: OK.
T: But it's disgusting if people do that.
K: Yeah, people just open their mouth and start to uh... (she is showing the gesture) you know as if it's urgent. Very unappealing, you know. And lot of time, with my Mom and Dad you know I say "can you please not do that" but when they do, sometimes it's kind of like really gross to me. That's like the one thing I think, .. the manners like.
T: more like American manners.
K: Yeah.
T: Who to you eat with when you eat at home?
K: It's only me, my Mom and Dad.
T: Have you ever moved out your place, and moved back?
K: yeah, I moved out... My freshman and sophomore years, I lived in the dorm, then the third year, I rent an apartment, then I moved back to my parents place.
T: Who do you eat with at lunch, dinner.
K: Lunch at school with friends, and dinner with my family.
T: What do you usually eat?
K: Korean food, at home we usually Korean food.
T: Your mom cooks?
K: My mom used to, but now is more like me and my Dad.
T: Do you cook?
K: I cook, yea. Breakfast and lunch are more like Ameican style, like eggs, bread, whatever, but dinner, usually Korean. At the restaurant, usually Korean, or Mexican food, Japanese food, sushi.. we love sushi.
T: Do you eat soup? A lot?
K: Yeah, eveytime we eat Korean dinner, it comes along.
T: Comes along?
K: It's on the side, and it's usually served with rice. Because the rice is too sticky, so we just, the point it to ..
T: yea. So how often do you eat with your family? Everyday?
K: Uh.. not everyday, usually dinner time. I usually have breakfast with my Mom, before I go to school. But it takes 5 minutes to eat, so I don't consider it eating with family. Dinner, 3-4 times a week.
T: Do you use chopstick to eat?
K: yea.
T: Do you sit on the floor or sit at the table.
K: Oh no, we sit on the chair with table, we don't sit on the floor.
T: Do Korean people do that?
K: Some do, I don't know for sure, but in drama, they don't sit on the ground, only if you are at the country side, maybe.
T: yeah, in my country people do that, so.
K: Yeah, long time ago, but it's old fashion now to sit on the ground.
T: OK. Do you sit at same place everytime?
K: Yeah, my Dad sit at the head of the table, and my Mom one side, and me sit the other side.
T: What do you talk with your family when you are eating?
K: We don't talk much.
T: Do you watch TV when you are eating?
K: yeah, we do. We usually have TV on and laugh along what's on TV, and haha that's funny, and start to talk about. But usually we are not like "how's your day" or never like that.
T: It's going to be really quiet?
K: Yeah, it's really quiet. My eyes are glue to TV and I start to commenting on...
T: Do your parents say something about that?
K: Yeah, and then we start talking.
T: OK. But they don't say anything about you watching TV?
K: No, they don't say anything. They like watching TV, too. We all somehow glue to TV.
T: When you eating with your family, do you pay attention to how you use chopsticks?
K: No I don't.
T: Is there any thing you are not supposed to do when you are using chopstick? Like my Korean professor says sticking chopsticks or spoons straight on the rice is considered to be extremely rude and..
K: Oh, right. It's like superstition. My Mom told me never to flip over the spoons, and make sure your spoon is always facing up. But I always do that, because I feel like it stick to the napkins, so I always flip it over. But I don't know. But she's like, "don't do that"
T: Why?
K: I think somehow your luck is run out or something, I am not exactly sure. And from long time ago, don't use chopstick while you eating rice, and you are supposed to use spoons for rice. But I always use chopsticks.
T: Your parents say anything?
K: That, they don't really care.
T: And your soup always go to the right side and rice always on the left. Whenever I put the soup on the left side, they always say "never put a soup on the left!" I never understand why. It's just like with me, so it's just naturally come on the right side. But I don't know why, they never told me.
T: How about a bowl? I heard you are not suppose to hold up a bowl to eat, but in my country, we have to do that so.
K: I don't know, I never heard of that. But I don't see people lifting up the bowl, so, I don't do that, but I don't know why.
T: Dishes are made by steel?
K: No, it's made just by celamic, I don't think it's made by steel.
T: In the food court, all the dishes and bowls are steel, so.
K: Oh, it's jut for their convinence. It's cheaper, and easier to clean.
T: Chopsticks are made by steel, right?
K: Chopsticks could be made by steel, aluminum, wood, could be anything. But usually it's metal.
T: Do you pay attention to the sound or noise when you are eating?
K: I try to close my mouth when I am chewing, like American, you are not supposed to chew with your mouth open, and I try to do that, but like my parents always do that they chew like .... , and I don't tell them anything but at the formal place you are not supposed to chew with your mouth open, so. But at home, it doesn't matter.
T: Did you notice other Koreans in Korea when you visited there?
K: Oh, I didn't even notice that. I went there four years ago, so I didn't even thought about that.
T: I heard in some countries, it's polite to chew with your mouth open to show the appreciation to the cheff.
K: Yeah, like Korean when they eat noodles, they just suck it in like...
T: I heard it's polite.
K: But I don't do that. I try to eat polite.
T: How do you eat with your friend at home?
K: When my friends came over? Then we talk. We talk a lot, so the food never goes away, because we talk so much. I eat same way.
T: Do you cook?
K: I want to. When I lived in an apartment, but now I lived with my parents so, foods are already prepared, and I just need to heat it up. I don't consider it cooking, but I do prepare it.
T: How about eating manners when you eat with your friends. Do you pay attention more or less?
K: Most my friends are American style so, they eat with mouth close, and quiet. They try to have conversation, and engage to the conversation. But I can think of my friend who doesn't do that. She is very Koreanized, and she eats with mouth open and she doesn't really talk that much. But most of my friends are pretty much Americanized and talkative and eat with mouth close.
T: How about at the formal dinner or celebration occasion? Can you think of any example?
K: We have rice cake that we, in Korea people make it, but in here people just buy it at supermarket.
T: How do you call it?
K: Tok. People usually bring it up every holiday, it's traditional food. I am not sure it's considered high class, but we consider it as traditional food and eat at holidays. Whenver we celebrating anything, Tok is always on the table.
T: Who are usually attending to the celebration? Your family?
K: Mostly family. Now we have big family, but before it was just three of us. So we just bought stuff at supermarket and bring it home and eat it. A couple months ago, they came from Korea, so we have big family. It' like family of ten. And it's considered big.
T: Have you ever eat all your family together?
K: Yeah, but at the restaurant.
T: Is there any rule when you are eating? Who start eating first?
K: If you are preparing food, and sit at the table, then always elder person take the first bite.
T: Do you say or do anything before you eat?
K: Some people might pray, but we don't. We don't say anything.
T: Who would be the oldest among your family?
K: Probably my dad. Yeah, so when the meal is done, and the fruits are served, then it first goes to my Dad. Yeah, usually that's how it is. After he takes the first bite, the everybody else can eat. But then in American side, it's always lady first, and ladies are always served first. Usually I don't see many time my dad served first, but my mom first, me, then my Dad.
T: but in Korean restaurant?
K: My dad will be served first.
T: Do you talk and what do you talk in that occasion?
K: Yeah, we do.
T: Do you talk to the person next to or talk to the group of people?
K: It's spontaneous. My dad would say "everybody enjoy your mea" then everybody start talking. Once a while my dad talk to everyone, then we listen. There is no rule to that.
T: OK. Is there any rules especially when you are eating with your relatives?
K: When I went to Korea four years ago, I didn't talk much unless someone asked me a question, because it was quiet, and very intimidate people, so. The eldest there was my dad's brother, and we eat out, we eat much quiet, and he asked questions and we gave short anseres, and I wouldn't talk more than that. It's always different who you are with. I wouldn't be the one to initiate the conversation when I eat with older people.
T: Do you pay attention to your manners in those times?
K: No, not really.
T: Do you eat alone?
K: Do I eat outside at Korean restaurant alone? Oh, no. Only one time, I went to Korean restaurant and ate alone. But eating at school, it's different feeling though. But outside, I don't.
T: Why do you think you follow the rules?
K: Korean or American? Both?
T: Both
K: Because it's enforced that if you eat with mouth open, then obviously some piece of food can come out from the mouth and it's really disgusting, and dirty. It's common sense to me to do what was said, and eating manners are very important because to show what you learn from your family you know, yea like, if you eat with mouth open and start picking your teeth, then people would be like "what her parents teach her, and she can't even ...". Because eating is a way of showing I don' t know, etiquette showing a lot of the person, so. I think that way, everybody should following. I mean not everybody knowing which folk to which, but just not eating with mouth open. I would be considering what other people think.
T: Is there unnecessary manner or necessary manner?
K: Things like flipping spoons, it's not big deal, and you don't have to care. And like eating rice with chopstick is ok. Also, I don't use chopstick in traditional way, like you are supposed to use with middle finger, but I have my own way holding it, but my parents or some people consider stupid, they think I am stupid because I don't know how to use chopstick in right way, you know. But as long as I can eat with it, it's ok. Those are small things.
T: Do you think you will get bothered when people tell you not to do or you have to do?
K: No one really told me not to do.
T: Do you appreciate their advice if they do? Or you will just deny or reject?
K: yeah, it's stupid but if my Mom tell me what to do, yea I will follow.
T: Are you going to teach your kid?
K: I totally am. I probably am. Because I remember I used to prepare food and people, they just eat it, and just say the soup is on left side, then I am like "put it on your right" then they are like "why?" "I don't know that's how you do it." I don't exactly know why people are do it but I just follow, it's kind of stupid.
T: That's all. Thank you.
K: OK, thank you.