The following is the transcription of my interview with one of my roommates, Tricia Whang, regarding the traditional Korean ritual, p’yebaek. The interview was conducted on a weekday evening in our apartment with our other 2 roommates out studying. I had asked her earlier if she would be willing to be my interviewee and she agreed freely though the thought of being tape recorded was a bit distressing because she doesn’t like the sound of her voice on tape. Nevertheless, we held the interview with music in the background as that made her more comfortable as opposed to dead silence and I recorded the interview on a tape recorder. Though it was strange at first because it seemed so formal, that atmosphere quickly disappeared and the interview in itself just became another one of frequent conversations we often have, dotted with the usual slang and our Californian speech habits of “um” and “like.”

Una Lee: Hi Tricia.
Tricia Whang: Hello.
UL: Okay, so for my short fieldwork assignment, I’m going to interview you about p’yebaek so before we even start, can you tell me a little about your family, like how many members there are and…yeah, let’s start there.
TW: Okay…there’s my mom and my dad and I have an older brother who is 12 _ years older than me and then an older sister who is 10 years older than me.
UL: Okay. When did your parents come from Korea?
TW: Um…some 20 odd years ago so it was a while ago.
UL: Okay. So where do you guys live right now?
TW: Well, our house house is in Hacienda Heights but now my brother and my sister live in south Pasadena.
UL: Because they’re married (to other people)?
TW: Yeah.
UL: Okay. What do your parents do?
TW: They own a 7-Eleven store.
UL: Well, that’s pretty American so do you guys consider yourselves to be very Americanized?
TW: Um…I would say we’re, yeah, very Americanized as opposed to some other families.
UL: So your brother and sister are married?
TW: Yeah.
UL: They both got married recently?
TW: Yeah, both within 2 years.
UL: So pretty much one right after the other?
TW: Yeah.
UL: So did your brother and sister both have very traditional American weddings in the sense where it was held in a church and suit and big dress?
TW: Yeah.
UL: Okay. But they did choose to have p’yebaek afterwards?
TW: Uh-huh.
UL: Do you think they did it as a result of maybe your parents wanting them to do it to retain, like, their culture or was it completely voluntary or…?
TW: Um…I think either…well first for my brother’s, I think either his in-laws suggested it or my parents suggested it but it wasn’t like a push, it was more like “are you going to do it?” It wasn’t like, you know, you have to do it. It was more like, “oh, so did you want to do that?” and then they had to think about it. And then they did.
UL: Okay, and for your sister as well?
TW: I think my sister did it because my brother did it. Like she thought it was fun and good stuff so she wanted to do it too.
UL: So, did you get to attend your, um, siblings’ p’yebaek’s?
TW: Yes. Although for my sister’s, technically, I wasn’t supposed to be there.
UL: But you were there anyways?
TW: Yeah.
UL: Okay.
TW: I wasn’t going to miss out on that!
UL: So, just talking about the p’yebaek, um, when does this take place?
TW: Well, for both weddings, it happened after the reception because…yeah, it happened after the reception but I don’t know if that’s traditional. It just happened after the reception, after everything was finished.
UL: Was…were…after all the guests had gone home and…?
TW: Uh…
UL: The majority?
TW: Well…you know Korean weddings, like a lot of them are there to eat the dinner and run? But, um, I would say a good major-…for my sister’s wedding, most of the guests had left, but for my brother’s, a lot of them were still there. And actually, a lot of his friends were interested in seeing it.
UL: So they got to see?
TW: Well, they weren’t in the room but they were like, by the doorway and they were like looking in, but it was mainly his non-Korean friends who were interested in seeing it.
UL: Oh okay. So where did this take place? Like…so if your brother and sister got married in a church and there was a reception hall, was it in just like a random room or…?
TW: Um…for my brother’s, it was, yeah, in a side room because he did it at a restaurant so it was in a side room, like an extra room they set it up in the side room and then for my sister’s, like, we had two halls for her reception and it was in the smaller hall, where like after most of the guests had left, they cleared out like half of the space and then they set it up there.
UL: Okay. So during the p’yebaek, who’s actually there in the room?
TW: Um…
UL: Obviously the bride and the groom…
TW: Right…well, I think traditionally, I could be wrong…no…yeah…traditionally, it’s only supposed to be the groom’s side family who’s allowed in there and then groom’s side family and only married women are allowed in there. So even the bride’s attendants…the only relatives that the bride’s side can have is the bride’s attendants, but her bride attendants have to be female and they have to be married.
UL: Okay. Um, what happens exactly during this ritual?
TW: Well, there’s a lot of bowing and a lot of, like, alcohol pouring. I don’t know if it’s alcohol or tea…I think it’s alcohol. I don’t know, but um, so basically what happens is…first, it’s the groom’s parents. They sit down at…well, do you want me to describe the room?
UL: Um-hm.
TW: So it’s that…they have that low table and they have the dduk cake thing and there’s a bowl of dates and a bowl of chestnuts and they have, like, that colorful fruit thingy… have you…that’s plastic…?
UL: Uh huh.
TW: They use that and then, um, behind them is that Oriental, folding, floral with the written, you know, Chinese stuff on it so…and then the parents sit behind the table and then the groom and bride sits…yeah, the groom is on the…well, if you’re my parents, the groom is on the right and the bride is on your left, if you’re facing them. Then, what happens is, like, she has to bow a certain amount of times, but what she’s wearing is so heavy that she has two attendants and like…I spoke to her after and she said she was like so tired. ‘Cause like after the wedding and all the partying and stuff, you’re tired to begin with and then you have to do all this bowing and seriously, like without the attendants, she, like, would’ve fallen. Like, you have to like…you know the whole…you have to stand and then you have to come all the way down, hands on the floor, forehead on your hands. She had to do that. And then, after you bow, you pour the tea and then you give the tea to the groom’s father and then the groom’s father drinks it. Yeah, then after that, like the parents say something, like you know, a blessing on the thingy. And then they hand them, you know, the envelope with, you know, money inside.
UL: Does the groom do any bowing?
TW: Oh yeah, the groom bows too.
UL: So after the bride or…?
TW: No, together.
UL: Oh okay.
TW: Yeah, it was together, but you know, obviously, the bride’s going to have attendants ‘cause, like…even her, like, outfit that she has…it’s like a long stick that comes like…basically it’s like your hair holding it and it’s like this long and you have that head thing. The, um, blankets…it’s not blankets…the garment that goes over your hands…it’s like super heavy. And then you have, like, this long sleeve thing too so…it looks really cool but it looks really heavy because, you know, Korean fabric…it’s like that heavy silk.
UL: So just talking about what they wore, they were traditional hanbok kind of stuff. Did you guys have to special order it or where did you get it from?
TW: I kinda…for my sister’s, cause I wasn’t there when Jean, my sister-in-law, was getting ready, but I was there when my sister was doing it and it was the caterers [chuckles] who provided it because her caterers were Korean and then, um, yeah…they provided it so they had the whole head piece and all the…I mean, my sister…like the groom’s family is supposed to provide the bride with her hanbok, like the main hanbok. And then…I wonder if we had to buy the husband’s hanbok? I don’t think so. But I know that the groom’s family has to buy the bride…the hanbok. So she had like the essential hanbok, but all the stuff that goes on it like the sleeve stuff and the head piece and then yeah…that the caterers provided. But for my sister’s, they forgot the red dots that go on your cheeks. Yeah, they had that for Jean’s. But they didn’t have it for my sister’s…they forgot it. And then we didn’t want to ruin her makeup and put, like, red lipstick on it so she just did it without the red dots…I think the red dots are a pain because it’s stickers and you just start sweating and they keep on falling off. [laughter]
UL: Okay, um, you mentioned different objects on the table, like the dates and the chestnuts. Do you know what they symbolize, like why they’re even there?
TW: Oh yeah…wait, I forgot something too. Like after you bow to your groom’s parents, like, you bow to your uncles.
UL: They’re in the room too?
TW: Yeah. So all of my dad’s side was in there…
UL: This was during your brother’s?
TW: During my brother’s.
UL: Okay.
TW: All of my dad’s side was there. And then each aunt and uncle goes behind the table and then she [Jean] has to do the bowing and the tea thing. Each uncle…and like, my dad’s side is huge, so we had to do 2 uncles at a time or else she would’ve just completely passed out cause there were just too many of them. So we did 2 at a time and then me and my sister had to do it. Like they didn’t bow to us, but, that would’ve been really weird, but me and my sister both had to go up and give a blessing. So each uncle and aunt gives a blessing and they give them, essentially, money.
UL: So when you say blessing, you mean a verbal blessing?
TW: Yeah, verbal…like advice almost. Mine was just, you know, “Hope you have a good life, treat each other well…” I…I didn’t even know I had to do it! He just stuck me up there, like the camera guy…he just stuck me up there and said to do a blessing and I was like…I was like cracked out, I was so tired.
UL: Okay, you just mentioned the camera guy telling you to do something. Um…how did that work?
TW: Um…
UL: What was his role in this ceremony, seeing that he was there advising you guys?
TW: He was basically the one calling the shots because I don’t even think my parents really know exactly what to do, like culturally, and so he was like…I mean, he did everything step by step. Like you know, he was filming and then he would cut it and be like, “okay, you have to bow now” and “you have to pour the tea” and like everything. And, I’m trying to remember, I think it was the attendants that pour the tea. The attendants pour the tea but then the bride has to give it to them.
UL: Who were your sister’s attendants?
TW: My sister’s? It was two of my cousins.
UL: Two of your married cousins?
TW: Yeah. Two of my married cousins. And Jean’s was, yeah, two of her married cousins.
UL: Yeah, so back to the dates and chestnuts like what…do they actually serve a purpose?
TW: Yeah. Um…after all the uncles go and give their blessings, then I think the groom’s parents come back and what happens is, um, the groom’s parents, they pick up the dates and chestnuts and they throw it…um, with the garment on the [bride’s] sleeve, it’s like a long one…and so the groom and bride turn towards each other and the groom picks up the garment so that it’s kind of like a net and then the parents throw chestnuts and dates and they’re supposed to catch it with the blanket or with the garment and then…Chestnuts are boys and then dates are girls and the amount of things you catch is supposed to be the amount of children you have, which is totally bogus because you catch like 20, you know or whatever. But um, what happens is with the ones that you catch, you’re supposed to eat them.
UL: Right there?
TW: No, not there. What my mom did was, she got…I don’t think it was the exact ones that they caught but she just got a whole bunch of dates and a whole bunch of chestnuts and she packed them like the day after and she gave it to them to eat it on their honeymoon or something. But I don’t know…eating dates, I mean chestnuts I can understand because they’re good, but I don’t know how dates taste like so…But yeah, that was really interesting. My sister’s [chuckles], they completely caught nothing the first throw and then they did it a second time and then they completely missed again and by this time, my sister’s in-laws were like totally like, basically tossing them into the net…it was really funny.
UL: Is it from, like, a far distance? Like was it difficult to catch or just like your sister and your brother-in-law just had a hard time?
TW: No…they just had bad technique. Bad technique, but um, my sister…Jean and Paul, my brother and his wife, they did pretty well…they caught a lot. Oh and another thing is that after that’s done, the groom has to piggy-back the bride around the table, like they have to go around it like 3 times…it’s like hilarious. It actually worries me.
UL: Do you know what that means? Like is it just…you have no idea?
TW: I think it’s…I feel like it’s along the lines of like the groom’s going to take care of the bride. That kind of thing, but I don’t know, like they have to go around the table a couple times and I have no idea what that’s for but that’s what they have to do. It’s really funny. Quite entertaining.
UL: Does that kind of mark the end of the ceremony or, like, how does it end?
TW: Well, like, I don’t know the official end of the ceremony but our official was just like pictures. Like once they finished carrying them around, they got back down and they took their pictures like bride and groom; bride, groom, and parents; bride, groom, and family; and yeah, after all the pictures were taken, it was done.
UL: Okay…um. So just in terms of doing p’yebaek, do you think your own parents would care if you…your siblings had done it or not? Were they kind of indifferent or they would like you guys to do it or they pretty much demand it or…?
TW: No, I don’t think they care.
UL: But they liked it?
TW: Yeah…I think my mom really enjoyed my brother’s. And then with my sister’s, I think she felt like tradition-bound so she wasn’t even…
UL: Allowed in?
TW: She wasn’t near it. She stayed in the other reception hall. I think she really wanted to be there though, like I could kinda tell. I was in there like taking pictures, but yeah, my mom and dad stayed completely away. And I think my mom stayed completely away because if she saw any part of it, she’d be really like sad.
UL: Okay…and would you personally want to do this?
TW: Oh yeah.
UL: Why?
TW: Um…I think I want to do it just because it would help me feel like, you know, I’m Korean and you know, I want to do something very traditional. Not only that, I love wearing hanboks, I just find it really fun. It’s just very novel. And the funny thing is that I think my brother and Jean’s was way more traditional than my sister’s because Caleb [her brother-in-law] comes from a traditional, total Korean family, like he was born in Korea. They’re very Korean, not very Americanized. And I feel like my brother and Jean tried harder to be more authentic because they’re not really into the whole Korean thing whereas my sister and Caleb, I feel like Caleb’s family didn’t really care all that much. Plus, like one of Caleb’s brothers wasn’t there and a lot of his family’s in Korea so they weren’t in the actual ceremony cause my sister only bowed to the parents. There were no uncles, no aunts. It was strictly just Caleb’s family, like immediate family. But yeah, when I think about it, I find that interesting. Like I would want it to be as authentic as possible too, just because…and I think it’s because, you know, I’m not very Koreanized and it’ll defeat the fact that I’m doing something very Korean culturally like…
UL: So even though your wedding would be pretty, completely Western, you would still want like this very Korean…
TW: Yeah, like I’d want to do the bowing. And I’d want to like…I mean the only exception I would have is that I’d want my family to be there.
UL: So you want to break Korean tradition and let them in?
TW: Yeah, I would break that part just cause I want my family could be there. But then like the actual ceremony, where like I have to bow and I have to pour the tea and catch the dates and stuff, I would totally do that. I’m a little worried about the whole carrying the bride around the table…I gotta work out. [laughter]
UL: Okay, that’s it, Tricia. Thank you very much.
TW: No problem.